Changing Times
Spring was late this year leaving May feeling like Winter still, yet there was an ever increasing feeling of change in the air for me. My life was about to take a dramatic turn. There’s no stopping time. Either one goes with the tictoc of the clock with open curiosity into the unknown future or pretends that the day will never really arrive. We all know, eventually the day does arrive!
It wasn’t until early May that a new position was confirmed for me with my international school.
My love of working with people of all ages has been a constant in my life. It’s always been important for me to share what I learn and practice. 13 years overseas, I embraced my role as an international school counselor, with the hiatus of two years off on medical leave. I honestly didn’t realize how much I identified with the work that this involved; helping families, parents, students, and teachers to be the best they could be independently and working together. Of course, there were days on the job that were emotionally tough to get through and wondering if I still had the energy for what was needed, but I realized that I still had a deep connection and love of this work.
As the end of the school calendar was finishing up, I found myself right in the midst of real change. Showing up for work in my office with the very real fact that I will not be coming back to this particular space in the new school year. I will not be working alongside my counseling colleagues in the same day to day routines. And there I suddenly found myself crying for this loss, this change, all this letting go of what was familiar.
Transitions in international schools are normal; they happen every year with students leaving, teachers who have become good friends leaving and changes in leadership. I’ve been doing this good-bye transition dance for over a decade and still it does not become any easier emotionally. This year, it is happening directly to me. I’m surprised by the intensity of it as I’m not really leaving, just shifting into a new and exciting role. Even still, there is a closure process of grieving the known and honoring the emotions that need to have a voice. In letting this flow unfold, space naturally opens up for the new unknowns to show themselves that are quietly waiting just ahead.
We know when one door closes, another one opens. Saying good-bye is important even when you are still staying within the same organization. I had many beautiful moments of celebrating all that has been with students and all the educators I’ve shared life bonding experiences with. Closure felt complete and satisfying for me on many levels. I was ready to let go of being ‘the school counselor’ and in need of a little adventure before my new position is born.
To bring a perfect closure to my school counseling career, I was surprised with a heartwarming goodbye letter.
With a beautiful ending to this school year, I decided to take a trip to British Columbia and a quick visit to Montreal to see Brendan. It’s the first time in over a year and a half that I felt I had the energy to get on a plane and sustain a month long trip. I couldn’t have made a better choice as I was filled up with love from family and close friends from the East to the West.
This trip showed me how strong my body is becoming everyday. After 3 years of dealing with the ups, downs, and uncertainties that cancer brings, I feel I am moving into a fresh new world of health, sustainability, and strength. At some point, it’s time to say, this is all behind me now and the only way is forward into the clear, blue light of day.
This is where I’m at now. My life has radically shifted and it didn’t happen overnight, not even in a fortnight. It took many long dark, unknown nights, weeks, months, even to my surprise, years to make these deep inner adjustments and outer world shifts. Patience is at a whole new level for me. Uncertainty is my friend and one I embrace with trust.
Beginning in August with the birth of another school year 2019-2020, I will be focusing my energy and efforts on our whole school community of educators, together with teachers and staff, to support them in their own healthy journey and work life balance.
“There is one last thing I have learned from you that I would like to mention to finish this off: whatever you go through, keep shining your light. And that is what I wish for you, too. From the beginning, I was fascinated by the warm, mollifying light you radiate. It nurtured me, like a blanket sheltering from the cold. And with this, I just want to say this: Keep sheltering. Keep nurturing. Keep understanding. Keep guiding. And keep shining, Ms. Peake. Keep shining. ”
How each of us sustains our own well-being throughout a school year is a personal challenge and working in education brings its own set of demanding expectations. How we traverse through the year makes a difference in how well we flourish as individuals and teachers. In my 50% role as the Employee Health and Well-Being Coordinator at the Zurich International School, I hope to light a path that is filled with Presence, Peaceful Moments, and Purity of Spirit. This is an exciting time to remain open to the unlimited possibilities that exist for all of us!