Regardless of how many times a person has gone through the customary control scans during cancer treatments and post cancer, there are still many emotions and thoughts that can get stirred up. All the ‘what if’s and could be’s’ about what the imagery will reveal.

Even when I have been feeling strong, healthy, and fitter than ever with increasing mental clarity; going to get a CT scan on my lungs or a PET scan for my whole body, brings up waves of emotion that surprise me. It’s not so much anxiety as it’s more of being absolutely surprised at what surfaces inside me. So for this, the word ‘Scanprises’ came to me; a combination of getting the scan and being surprised at all the thoughts and emotions.

These moments take all my inner discipline to just watch as this hurricane of thoughts come sweeping through the window of my awareness. To be willing to acknowledge they are there, is scary enough. Holding strong to let the force of them keep passing through is a real test of mindfully staying present, detached, with awareness and without judgment. No one said this is easy. The most challenging time to be present is in these moments of intense swirling thoughts, to keep breathing and at the same time experience a sense of being a witness to the whole process.

Practicing Self Compassion

Breathing, letting energy and stress out through tears and asking, ‘what do I need right now to bring self-compassion to my Being.’ I know this is a moment of suffering….and I am not alone. Leaning into all of my inner resources and using them. Being kind to myself is amazingly hard when a part of me is thinking, ‘I should be over this!’ Eventually this storm passes and I’m left reflecting on what just happened.

It has been 4 months since my last control scans. I know this ‘scan schedule’ can bring up a lot for people and for me, it’s another reminder of how we have to be gentle on ourselves when our body is speaking.

A prolonged illness gives one the opportunity to discover new layers of letting go, each scan bringing a new quality of awareness. As clouds pass by, I watch to see what doors open, which ones close, and how I want to direct the story.

My story unfolds based on what kind of energy my whole bodymind is calling for to keep healing and growing in positive ways.

How do I talk about the spiritual side of life living through the experience of a life threatening illness? It is challenging. In fact, I can’t think of anything else in my life where I have been continuously brought to my knees praying again and again, wondering, ‘what next?’ and ‘how will I choose to rise back up again?’

How to continue surrendering into the unknown Universal Path that is stretched out before me? I think it’s impossible for illnesses to not push one towards a deeper Spiritual connection with an energy that feels greater than self and yet is deeply connected within self.

“People need to realize that their thoughts are more primary than their genes, because the environment, which is influenced by our thoughts, controls the genes.
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— Bruce Lipton, Biology of Belief

Do we have control over our lives?

Over time, it became clear to me that one really does not have ‘control’ over lifes’ events. Life itself as a Path is much grander, inclusive of infinite possibilities. Deeper healing in the body occurs when the mind is put to rest and stops trying to control the outcome whether this is acknowledged on a conscious or subconscious level. Yet, this becomes a paradox. The mind needs to get out of the way with negative thinking, although it can be there to support healing with positive and growth producing thoughts.

Back in the Fall 2018, I received the Biology of Belief online course with Bruce Lipton and it has been sitting in my Hayhouse inbox of courses since then. I worked through Louise Hay’s 21 day mirror course on self-love that I wrote about and found it incredibly powerful and inspiring. Doing such direct and loving affirmations everyday has a way of shifting thoughts into a source of such positive energy for the body. This is how she said she healed her own experience with cancer, by eventually becoming a vessel of self-love.

Mirror Work & Self Love

Doing the mirror course was like taking a flashlight and shining it in all the nooks and crannies of my body and heart to find the tiny tucked away places that were still harboring resentment, anger, sadness, or whatever unresolved emotion was still there and letting it all go through forgiveness and unconditional love with daily affirmations. The goal is not to be this perfect human being with nothing going on inside, but rather to be accepting unconditionally of whatever is there that you may find and be willing to let go and move on.

Now was the time to open up that Bruce Lipton course and dive into the new science of Epigenetics.

In his online course, I am having a lot of ‘ahha’ moments about how cells live and healing occurs. Through his talks, I am becoming a cell to understand how this tiny microcosm is a complete reflection of my whole body.

From the time of my diagnosis in August 2016 until now, I have stayed away from asking myself the question, ‘why me?’ I knew it wouldn’t be helpful in terms of taking away this illness. I was a person who valued my health since I was young. I loved being active in the outdoors, doing sports, eating healthy, taking care of myself, and then extending that to raising my family. Never did I imagine that I would be susceptible to cells that would mutate into cancerous ones.

It’s been a process of re-learning how to listen to my body or intuition; how to trust a voice that is in harmony with my heart and my mind and to really grasp how influential my thoughts are on my cells.

“The moment you change your perception is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.” - Bruce Lipton

There is a lot out there on how to cure cancer. What does one do with all of this information? There are many choices about how to eat to reduce cancer activity in the cells. I have tried many of them: vegetarian, vegan/plant based, ketogenic diet. I do believe that eating whole organic/bio foods is vitally important as we don’t need to be putting more chemical toxins into our bodies through the food choices we make. However, the balance of carbs, sugars, proteins, and fats is an individual balance based on you and your body. Keeping your blood sugar low which means reducing carb intake (as carbs are sugar) is also important in creating inhospitable environments for cancer cells. I have gravitated to the Ketogenic diet and within these food parameters, I adopt an approach of eating intuitively making the best food choices for my given situations as my needs change. In this I have to trust and eat with full enjoyment!

Aside from food choices and exercising, where else can I make choices that will impact the health of my cells? I’ve come to learn that cancer doesn’t just come from your genes, nor does ‘doing’ the right things like eating healthy and exercising protect me from cancer; there are other important influencing factors. How can I leverage these factors to my body’s benefit?

Environmental or Genetic?

Lipton says, “90% of cancer is environment, 10% is from genes. Healthy genes can turn cancerous from environmental signals just as mutant genes can turn healthy.” The new science of Epigenetics says that it’s the environment that controls our lives.

Our cells are like biological ‘mini me’s’ compared to the body. A cell has every process going on that the body does. A cell has receptors that are ‘listening’ and taking in information from its’ cellular environment, just as we have our senses taking in information from around us. We are making decisions based on how we are feeling, how someone is looking at us, what is being said to us, and if this information is causing us to open up and be receptive to the energy we’re receiving or making us close up and protect ourselves.

This is going on all the time. What are we choosing; to move toward the positive feeling energy or move away from the negative, unhealthy energy. Just as we naturally do this with our bodies, our cells are doing the same thing. For example, Lipton shares how he put healthy cells in two petri dishes, one dish had healthy food in it, the other dish had toxins. After a short period of time, the cells with the healthy food moved towards and got closer to the positive ‘energy’ while the cells with the toxins moved further away in an attempt to protect themselves from the negative energy.

Cells are in one or the other: opening towards growth or closing down and protecting. They cannot be in both at the same time. (slide: B. Lipton)

Life of a Cell

Very simply, cells know what is positively helping them to grow and also what is dangerous and calls for them to go into protective mode and shut down. It’s important to recognize that cells cannot be doing both at the same time. In other words, we cannot be opening ourselves to positive, growth producing experiences and retreating into a protective, shutting down mode. We are in one or the other.

What’s important here is that whenever stress is present in your life, then cells are going into a protective mode. In the protective mode, the immune system is not able to fully function. To support a healthy body, we want a strong, fully functioning immune system. Lipton says,

“there are 3 causes of disease: trauma to the physical body, toxins that are chemical, and thoughts and beliefs which are emotional.”

Together, these create stress in the body and directly into our cells. Remember, our cells read signals from the environment just as we do. When we have a negative thought or a limiting belief such as, “I’m never going to be good enough” or I’m just not going to get well” this message goes into the cells and they begin to respond accordingly.

Your thinking is perhaps the most important part of the signals you send to your inner environment.

With the thoughts you have, you need to remember that you are sending energy into the cells. They will read them as either growth producing positive energy or protective and negative energy. Sometimes, going into protective mode is necessary, however it becomes unhealthy when stress is constant and becomes a chronic state of being.

Influencing the health of the cell

Research is coming out all the time showing how meditation can alter our brain, thus changing the signals that go to the cells. By meditating, we can change our inner environment and gene expression. Trillions of cells are dying off and being renewed everyday. This provides the possibility to renew our cells with a different program. How to send life enhancing signals to our cells is within our power. We do not have to be a victim to our genes, we can be a master of them and how they are expressed.

Believe in Your Self!

The way you focus your mind with your thoughts and what you believe is a critical piece in how you can have a major influence on your diagnosis and improve the quality of your daily life regardless of what’s happening in the body. Choosing to practice daily mindful and contemplative activities can create a positive, life affirming energy in your body and directly signal this message to your cells. In this way, you really are the sum of all your cells!

Listen to Lipton’s pioneering work in cellular biology and Epigenetics for more in depth explanation on how we have the power to heal. Click here to find the online course.